The last couple of weeks the universe has brought so many feelings to to the surface for the collective. For some it hit hard and feels so strong. Much love and light sent to those at this time. Know that you are not alone on your journey and I hope to bring some light to you. I had started to notice a theme with my clients these last couple of weeks. There were some pretty powerful healings that took place. The theme was feelings / beliefs of unworthiness. The belief system that lies deep within some of us, may be at the surface for others and that some of us aren’t even aware is there; patiently waiting for us to peel the layers back and discover this false belief and heal. I knew it was no coincidence that I too had been working on these deep subconscious beliefs that I was unworthy for something in my life. To be honest I felt worthy in most areas in my life. I never battled feelings of unworthiness until I had to go deeper to fullfil my mission (purpose). My healing journey and my mission go hand in hand and are beautifully orchestarted for me. I learn, I embody, I teach, I heal others. As I work on myself and do the work my soul needs to help others, I grow and my vibration raises, my frequency changes and heart opens unconditionally for all.
So here I was ready to accept the next step in my ascension to fulfill my purpose and I feel blocked. I had already worked on so many layers of not feeling worthy of taking this big mission on, peeling them back, releasing them and feeling worthy of my power. I thought it couldn’t possibly be this again. WRONG. Mercury in retrograde brought this up for not only my clients but for me too. There is was, staring at me once again. It felt like it came out of the blue, or did it?
You see, the week before I was guided to bring my family and myself to the ancient energies of the Northern California Coast and the Redwoods. The only thing I knew was the energies within these ancient trees were going to help shift us for our highest good. We needed to be there. We spent four days hiking and forest bathing. When I came back from my trip I had planned a healing session with one of my reiki students whom had asked for feedback. We dove right into my feelings of unworthiness to be who I came here to be.
And there she was. My four year old self with her wings spread out wide, sitting in the corner, head down to her knees. She looked sad. She felt unworthy of her wings. Why, I wasn’t sure at the time. But I did know, that if any aspect of my soul was feeling any unworthiness I couldn’t step into the next phase of my gifts and be who I came here to be. I healed my four year old self and allowed her to feel worthy. I was breaking through yet another layer. I felt an overwhelming peace and freedom that day. That night I meditated on where these feelings of unworthiness could have come from. Spirit brought to my attention it was an old ancestral/religious belief sytem. And because the universe and Spirit orchestrate so beautifully my answer was revealed through a healing I was giving a client/student, who was also releasing feelings of unworthiness. The phrase, “Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the world and I shall be healed” came into the session. This was the the ancestral/belief system that was inside of her and me… blocking me. Are you kidding me? I was believing and repeating in prayer to the same God/Spirit who is working through me and guiding me to help others, and guiding me into my gifts, that I wasn’t worthy to receive them?! I can’t begin to tell you how not in alignment this was with me. I was conditioned to this belief as a lot of us are, even though consiously and in my heart I felt worthy. Deep down at a cellular level there was this hidden belief. I spoke these word in church growing up before I received communion. Please keep in mind I respect all belief systems and I am not bashing the catholic church or trying to turn anyone away from it. I am simply sharing my experience. It was quite the AHA moment for myself and it got me fired up to share my story and to help other heal their unworthiness, no matter what they are feeling unworthy of. And it doesn’t matter if mine was from religious beliefs or your’s is from your childhood or adult experience and or maybe ancestral religious beliefs too, the feelings of unworthiness impact us all at some point in our lives. You were created by love with love for love. Love knows no unworthiness. It has no conditions! This belief that you are not worthy is false! Unworthiness blocks us from being who we came here to be! It blocks us from amazing opportunity to grow, to learn to heal, to achieve whatever it is that we want. YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE WORTHY! You always have been. We all were born worthy. We were also born as warriors to battle against this unworthiness and be in our truth. To be in our hearts the way were were intended to be. With UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for ourseles and others. I hope that by reading this it allows you permission to heal any unworthiness you are feeling, no matter how deep the layers or how big the block is, or how many areas of your life it comes into play.
LOts of LOve,
Lauren